Winning the Lottery

Lots of folks are fantasizing about winning the lottery. Winning sounds good, but you might not want to. First you will have to move. Not because you're going to get that fantastic new home you've always wanted, but because you will develop an intense need to not be found. Moving to New Zealand might not be good enough. You might have to buy your own island. I'm not really kidding.

You will have to find a super lawyer and put this person on retainer. All sorts of assholes will be gunning for you. If you're not scared, you should be. Most of your family will develop a new found love for you. Most of this love will involve money. 

At a bare minimum you will need financial advice. There will be no shortage of folks offering this to you. Choose carefully.

Tell exactly zero people before you get proper financial and legal advice. I'm not fucking kidding.

The history of lottery winners is littered with drug abuse and death.

Fortunately your chances of winning are so close to zero that all of the above will not matter even slightly.