Rest in Peace

It's good to have a role in life. Mine is dispose of those creatures that have the grace to decease in the vicinity of the abode. Citizen gasped his last on the front walk way. Esteemed Spouse alerted me that my role was now activated (she has her role and I have mine). I made the customary six by three with my trusty implement (we have been through much, implement and I, soil mostly) and carried Citizen with utmost reverence to his final rest. At his side I spoke the sacred words (I beseech you to speak them for me at the appropriate hour):

"'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!"

Requiescet in pace, Citizen. I will join you in due course.