Raising Men

I think we raise men poorly. We tell them they need to be strong, self reliant, stoic. We tell them with these things they can surmount any challenge. We say this stuff so often these proto-men believe it.

We tell different things to proto-women. We tell them they can share their feelings. We tell them they can gain strength from their friends.

These proto-men, believing the stuff we fed them, strut out into the world and try to assume the command we told them they should take. A lot of the time this works, at least for some men, for some of the time. And, without doubt, some men do rig the game in their favor. We told them it was their game didn't we?

Then, for some men, more than you might think, comes the trial of strength that cannot be overcome, the mountain that cannot be climbed, the insurmountable challenge.

Then what? We don't give these men the tools we give women. We don't tell them they can rely on others. We don't tell them to share their feelings so they don't feel so alone. We don't tell them that giving regard to others makes us all stronger.

So what happens? Destruction. Sometimes slow with alcohol. Sometimes fast with lead poisoning. Always with a lot of collateral damage.