Epigrams Part II
I want to start a band called Oxford Comma, but maybe I should wait.
English is the language that likes to lurk in dark alleyways and mug other languages for loose diction.
I have a lot of respect for at least one class of humans. Folks that work forty feet up in a tree with a running chain saw.
I'm like a trained bear. It's not that what I do is amazing, it's that I do anything at all that is amazing.
A lot of folks use the word sin to refer to things they disapprove of. I have no idea why I should care.
There are two things that are important about a car. Tires and brakes. You won't die if the engine doesn't start.
There is something deeply whiny about a nap you didn't get to take.
Don't stop me when I'm trying to think. It happens so rarely.
I'm an effective human. Much in the same way humping a tree makes it pregnant.
If you sound gay and don't like yourself are you homophobic or homophonic?
You cannot tell people things they cannot hear. How can you put it so they can? What are you not hearing?
The genius of the human mind is the ability to create information from partial data. The flip side is a pronounced tendency for false positives.
The genius of human mind is the ability to create value from partial data. Flip side is a pronounced tendency for false positives.
The converse of Descartes could be dangerous. I don't think.
Prince George: Hows it hangin' Mama?
The Duchess: Whatever do you mean by 'it' George?
Prince George: My mistake Mama, I should have made use of the plural 'they'.
The Duchess: (to the Duke) Your son is being horribly rude again! I never refer to your manhood in this manner!
The Duke: I know. I wish you would.
The various classes of humans deserve the same level of respect. As an unrepentant misanthrope that level is of swarming locusts.
I treat all the various hues, ethnicities, genders, sexualities entirely the same way. I avoid them.
There are mentally stable people. Do you suppose they feel lonely?
I do try to keep in mind the potential shoulder strain when patting myself on the back.
Real men don't eat Quiche. Exceptions can be made if it has bacon in it.
I assume I'm being watched most of the time. I wonder how many pictures there are of me picking my nose.
English is the language that likes to lurk in dark alleyways and mug other languages for loose diction.
I have a lot of respect for at least one class of humans. Folks that work forty feet up in a tree with a running chain saw.
I'm like a trained bear. It's not that what I do is amazing, it's that I do anything at all that is amazing.
A lot of folks use the word sin to refer to things they disapprove of. I have no idea why I should care.
There are two things that are important about a car. Tires and brakes. You won't die if the engine doesn't start.
There is something deeply whiny about a nap you didn't get to take.
Don't stop me when I'm trying to think. It happens so rarely.
I'm an effective human. Much in the same way humping a tree makes it pregnant.
If you sound gay and don't like yourself are you homophobic or homophonic?
You cannot tell people things they cannot hear. How can you put it so they can? What are you not hearing?
The genius of the human mind is the ability to create information from partial data. The flip side is a pronounced tendency for false positives.
The genius of human mind is the ability to create value from partial data. Flip side is a pronounced tendency for false positives.
The converse of Descartes could be dangerous. I don't think.
Prince George: Hows it hangin' Mama?
The Duchess: Whatever do you mean by 'it' George?
Prince George: My mistake Mama, I should have made use of the plural 'they'.
The Duchess: (to the Duke) Your son is being horribly rude again! I never refer to your manhood in this manner!
The Duke: I know. I wish you would.
The various classes of humans deserve the same level of respect. As an unrepentant misanthrope that level is of swarming locusts.
I treat all the various hues, ethnicities, genders, sexualities entirely the same way. I avoid them.
There are mentally stable people. Do you suppose they feel lonely?
I do try to keep in mind the potential shoulder strain when patting myself on the back.
Real men don't eat Quiche. Exceptions can be made if it has bacon in it.
I assume I'm being watched most of the time. I wonder how many pictures there are of me picking my nose.
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