Don't Come To My Door
This doesn't happen too often, but some times folks come to my front door selling something. Could be ideology or some more commercial product. Generally I look to end the interaction as quickly as possible. I'm not interested. Goodbye. What I don't explain, as it would take too long, is that I will never buy whatever it is that they are selling. One of the reasons is that they think I'm stupid. As you might imagine, I find this annoying.
I understand these folks are trying to make a living, or in some cases, let me know about Jesus. But they must think I'm stupid.
Some are selling lawn care. I'm aware I have a lawn. I'm also aware there are lawn care companies. I fully understand I could pay someone to cut my grass. I do not need you to explain this to me. I understand you think you're awesome. You'll forgive me for not taking your word on this. There are, and I know this sounds amazing, web sites that will (for free!) evaluate local contractors. I don't know how to let them know this, but I have lots of tools for figuring out how to get the grass cut that never include talking to some random stranger at my door. These folks have assumed I cannot figure this out. It's insulting.
The Jesus folks are similarly not interesting. They want me to know how amazing Jesus is. I get it. It has made a difference in their lives and they want to let me know how totally cool that is. I really do understand. What I don't say is I'm familiar with their book. I've read the Pentateuch. I've read the serious combination of useful information and stupid that is Leviticus. I've read the synoptic Gospels. I know a thing that they likely don't. The synoptic Gospels don't agree with each other. I've read Acts. I'm familiar with many of the Pauline epistles. Indeed, there is an excellent chance I've read more of their book than they have. I also know there is two hundred years of serious scholarship on their book, the results of which would shock them to their core. Furthermore, there are at least two thousand years of analysis on why gods are complete nonsense. And yet these folks assume, when they come to my door, that I lack the ability to understand these questions. If you think you can figure it out, why do assume I can't?
I can.
I understand these folks are trying to make a living, or in some cases, let me know about Jesus. But they must think I'm stupid.
Some are selling lawn care. I'm aware I have a lawn. I'm also aware there are lawn care companies. I fully understand I could pay someone to cut my grass. I do not need you to explain this to me. I understand you think you're awesome. You'll forgive me for not taking your word on this. There are, and I know this sounds amazing, web sites that will (for free!) evaluate local contractors. I don't know how to let them know this, but I have lots of tools for figuring out how to get the grass cut that never include talking to some random stranger at my door. These folks have assumed I cannot figure this out. It's insulting.
The Jesus folks are similarly not interesting. They want me to know how amazing Jesus is. I get it. It has made a difference in their lives and they want to let me know how totally cool that is. I really do understand. What I don't say is I'm familiar with their book. I've read the Pentateuch. I've read the serious combination of useful information and stupid that is Leviticus. I've read the synoptic Gospels. I know a thing that they likely don't. The synoptic Gospels don't agree with each other. I've read Acts. I'm familiar with many of the Pauline epistles. Indeed, there is an excellent chance I've read more of their book than they have. I also know there is two hundred years of serious scholarship on their book, the results of which would shock them to their core. Furthermore, there are at least two thousand years of analysis on why gods are complete nonsense. And yet these folks assume, when they come to my door, that I lack the ability to understand these questions. If you think you can figure it out, why do assume I can't?
I can.
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